I cried tonight.

I was just looking at MRI quiz slides, surprised that I recognized more than I thought, and let my mind wander. It has been a really long year. I'm exhausted. I'm in the midst of a losing battle of sanity vs. BC emotions and BC is kicking my butt. I have been cranky, cranky cranky. And bloated. Honestly, I'm more annoyed at the bloat b/c I am on day 10 of level 2 (give or take a few skipped days, I've been pretty consistently doing 30 Day Shred) and while my arms look pretty good my tummy/hips are still far from toned. I guess eating right is better than exercise, at least for me.

Random rant: Gender equality/neutral behavior promoting has been blowing up the internet lately. CNN got in on it, too. I may be considered "old fashioned" but while crying tonight, I sat there as my husband rubbed my back and wailed "I just want a ma-ma-manicure. And a haaiirrcut. And I want to shop. In a store." At which point we both started cracking up, thinking of how ridiculous I sounded. As trivial as these things may be, I like having pretty nails (self-attempts look worse than my five-year-old magic marker manicures) and I have not worn flip flops/sandals yet this summer (it's been hot here for a while) because I am embarrassed of my naked toes. I LIKE being a girl. I LIKE mani-pedis, blow-dries, shopping. Baking is relaxing and I think cooking dinner is fun. I also like being a med student, not being a SAHM, and having a husband who does dishes while watching NBA playoffs (which I watch too, while making Pharm flashcards.)

While I understand and promote the ideas of girls getting into engineering, biotech, sciences, math, I don't think it has to come at the expense of tea parties, ballet tutus, or pigtails. By fighting so hard to be "like the guys" we lose the ways we are special. I still think there is nothing more awesome than a girl shooting a 3 pointer with eyeliner and straight-ironed hair, a cardiologist rocking bright red lipstick and heels, and computer science engineer in a sundress. If we try to make everyone equal, we may just suck the individuality out of everyone. (In fairness, when my 4 y/o brother prefers baking cooking to monster trucks, we just enjoy the cookies, no second thought. All this boy/girl stuff has to chill. Let kids be who they want and stop imposing adult concerns on them)